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Last weeks live journal was somewhat well-received so I thought I'd do another one. The 3:00 start was perfect; gave me time to hit the Chinese buffet before but won't cut into Desperate Housewives.

2:59 PM- Somewhat intriguing matchup for the AFC Championships: 2 teams with good running games, 2nd tier star QBs, solid defenses, and coaches that have been to the Super Bowl. Denver has the home field advantage but Pittsburgh seems to be the sexy pick.

3:00-Time to "Assume the Position," which is just our houses way of saying that we are going to sit on the couch or recliner for more than 3 hours in a row; only moving to piss, get another beer, or answer the door when our food arrives.

3:01- I have to mention quickly that had Vanderjagt put that kick through last week the Sports Illustrated Cover Jinx would have had a new chapter, since it was The Bus who was featured on the January 16th cover.

3:03- Jim "A tradition unlike any other...The Masters on CBS" Nantz and Phil Simms are in the booth. Probably one of the top 3 tandems in 21st century NFL broadcasting.

3:04- Both quarterbacks are sporting hideously unkept beards. Reminding me of Al Gore when he went off the deep end after the 2000 election.

3:05- The UPS Reliable Game Picks says that the keys to the game will be "the blitz" and "the kickers."

3:06- The first installment of an apparent "Terrell Owens is a Quality Human Being" advertising campaign airs, some Boost Mobile commercial for a cell phone. I thought that was Joe Horn's thing but maybe I'm mixing up my prima donna wide receivers.

3:07- Cut to Bonnie Bernstein, who doesn't fail to look like Carmela Soprano for the 8th consecutive week.

3:08- Broncos return the opening kick to the 20, here comes No Mistake Jake.

3:10- GAMEPICKS: Shaun-"Broncos, but I want the Steelers." Mike- "Steelers." Pickem Champ Jen-"I don't know...I don't think I care."

3:13- I think its ironic that Tatum Bell wears Clinton Portis' old number 26. It is just more evidence that every Denver running back since Terrell Davis is completely interchangeable, products of the best run blocking offensive line of the era.

3:13- Nantz says that the winner of today's game will be considered the best coach in the NFL. Somewhere in a dark film room Bill Belichick is plotting his revenge.

3:14- No Mistake Jake doesn't throw an interception on 2 straight plays. Phil Simms seems to be part of the movement that as long as Plummer isn't shooting himself in the foot than he is playing incredibly.

3:15- Broncos punt and put Steelers inside their own 10, followed by a reminder that the Southwest Airlines commercial where the guy hears the ding and jumps over the cublicles is still funny.

3:16- Hines Ward is very underrated. He is probably a top 5 NFL wide-out and doesn't seem to get the credit. Moss, TO, Steve God Smith, Chad Johnson, Marvin Harrison. Ok, top 6. Still, hes underrated.

3:19- Ward, on cue, drill Champ Bailey and makes a nice play on a deflected pass for a first down.

3:20- The Steelers' offensive coordinator looks very very much like Bill Cowher. They should call him Cowher Lite, its hilarious.

3:21- Willie Parker fumbles, but his knee looks like it may have been down.

3:22- Cowher challenges. Shaun thinks that it will get overturned, but Phil Simms doesn't. I personally don't care, and wish the refs would get shit right the first time more often, I am so sick of these 4 minute stretches of the same replay.

3:24- Ruling on the field is overturned, Shaun is therefore smarter than Simms, but Simms still has more Super Bowl rings and better sperm.

3:25- Roethlisberger has completed a few nice passes in a row, he looks good.

3:26- Shaun: "Ben Roethlisberger looks like a scumbag." Everyone agrees. Big Ben then "gets sacked by Michael Myers and Ebenezer Ekuban", which sounds somewhat like a horror movie title.

3:27- Cowher Lite's name is Ken Wizzenhunt and CBS loves to cut to his camera.

3:29- Jeff Reed hits a 47-yard field goal, UPS looks smart. 3-0 Steelers.

3:32- Everyone loves the Dr. Pepper "I would do anything for love" commercial. It is agreed that the Meatloaf selection is perfect and the facial expressions make the commercial.

3:35- No Mistake Jake fumbles, Steelers ball on the Denver 39.

3:36- Another hand off to Willie Parker...Where's the Bus???

3:37- On cue, Bettis enters and runs up the middle for 2 yards. Has there ever been a player who is considered the face of the franchise but plays as little as Bettis? Seriously, what if Brett Favre only took 30% of the Packers' snaps or Tim Duncan only played 15 minutes a game? Maybe Roethelsomething is the face of the team now, but it was the Bus on the cover of SI and the Bus with the most media in front of his locker after the game, but he still can't participate in more than 2 plays in a row because of a bad knee, asthma, and old age.

3:38- 1st quarter ends at 3-0.

3:41- TD pass from Big Ben to Cedrick Wilson. 10-0 Steelers.

3:42- Shaun changes his pick to Pittsburgh.

3:43- Jay joins us and assume the position.

3:44- Reed's kickoff goes out of bounds, Madden '06 style.

3:46 This week on the Late Show Dave's guests include, Anthony Hopkins, Pierce Brosnan, Bernie Mac, and Dr. Phil. Shaun decides that if he could be anyone in the world it would no longer be Justin Timberlake, but Dr. Phil instead, which leads to this exchange:
Kropa- "Yeah, but he's married, wouldn't you want to bang a lot of girls?"
Shaun- "Dr. Phil is like everyone woman's dream, he could get so much ass!"
Jay- "It would be like MILFs all day."
Shaun- "They would ask for advice and I'd be like 'well you can start by sucking my dick,' or 'This is what you need to do with your life: have sex with me, and then that'll show you how much you love your husband.'"
Jen- Says nothing but is clearly not amused nor happy with her life decision to move back to Ithaca.

3:48- I ask "what would happen if Deltha O'Neal and Tatum Bell had sex? (pause...) You'd get Tatum O'Neal!" Nobody laughs. Upon further review, nobody in the room knows who Tatum O'Neal is, which means not many people reading this will know either and I probably should have cut 3:48 out of the final draft.

3:55- Denver gets the ball down to the 6 but can't punch it in and settle for a field goal. 10-3 Steelers.

4:00- No penalties yet, other than the illegal procedure on the kickoff. Discipline = great coaching.

4:11- Campbells Chunky Soup commercial, featuring the 3rd woman who has been used to portray Donovan McNabb's mother. I'm pretty sure that this one is his real mom, but I know for a fact that his first one was the grandmother from Ghostwriter and the principle from City Guys.

4:16- First and goal Pittsburgh with 2 minutes left in the half when the Bus plows his way in for 6 and CBS shows the obligatory shot of Mr. and Mrs. Bettis slapping high-five to everyone within 3 rows wearing black and gold. I wish we got a cutaway of Mr. and Mrs. Vanderchoke last week. 17-3 Steelers.

4:21- No Mistake Jake throws a pick at the 1:48 mark. Kropa-"I think they're losing on purpose." This is vintage Plummer...THE SNAKE IS BACK!!! (a week late though).

4:26- Roethlisberger avoids tackles, scrambles to his right, and finds Ward in the back of the endzone. 24-3 Steelers in a rout.

4:30- Pittsburgh linebacker Andre Frazier is hurt on the kickoff. Looks like his leg, the gator is coming out to cart his off. I start yelling "Down goes Frazier!! Down goes Frazier!!" Another joke that nobody in the room gets. I'm done trying to be funny for the day.

4:32- The Broncos get booed into the locker room, Mile High has been deflated. HALFTIME.

4:38- Since when is Cliff Huxtable a member of the CBS Halftime Show?? Oh, wait, sorry, that's Shannon Sharpe.

4:46- 2nd half is underway. This is the first weekend since September that I haven't had money riding on a few games, and I must say its very relaxing.

4:47- Big Ben is 15/19 for 294 yards and 2 TDs, easily winning the Mach 3 Turbo Quarterback Battle.

4:50- This would be 3 road playoff wins in a row for the Steelers, first time its ever happened. If they win the Super Bowl than this would have to go down as one of the most remarkable runs in NFL history.

4:54- 4th and 2 for Pittsburgh. Go for it? 52-yd FG? They punt and down it at the 3 yard line. When you're on you're on.

5:01- Who was missing Jenna Elfman? Did anyone care that she was no longer on prime time television? Who wrote letters to CBS demanding Jenna Elfman?

5:03- The room decides that Champ Bailey has a great name. If I weren't naming my first born son Brady I might consider Champ. Jen points out that either Champ or Bailey would make appropriate names for a lab or golden retriever.

5:08- 70 million people watch Criminal Minds??? There are only 300 million people in this country. Is CBS trying to get me to believe that 1 out of every 4.3 people in the U.S. watches Criminal Minds??? I don't know 1 person who watches it. I also don't get the difference between "America's Number One Network," "America's Favorite Network," and "America's Best Network."

5:11- Great catch by Rod Smith over Troy Polamalu. Denver needs 7 badly if they want to keep this respectable. Also, has anyone else noticed the striking similarity between Polumalu and the Fatu, the WWF wrestler of the mid-90s? Check it out:
media.phillyburbs/2005/09/22/STEELERS_WHERES_POLA.jpg
homecast/~gnagus/headshrinkers2.jpg

5:12- After a quick visit to the Nielsen Ratings website I have learned that 7 of the top 10 watched shows in the country are in fact on CBS. The other 3 are on ABC. This shows why having NFL rights is so important.

5:15- Jake the Snake throws a 30-yard touchdown pass to Ashley Lelie. 24-10 Steelers.
(Sidenote: In high school Ashley was not even the best player in his family. His brother Mary-Kate was a stand out running back before a severe coke problem halted his career.)

5:21- Cedrick Wilson is having a monster game. Not quite Steve Smith numbers but he has made a bunch of big plays.

5:23- Shows not to watch: Courting Alex, How I Met Your Mother, and Love Monkey. And what happened to Jason Priestly? He is now the short buddy sidekick of the guy who was Ed on America's Worst Network NBC.

5:26- Jeff Reed hits a 42 yarder with 13:40 left in the 4th quarter. 27-10 Steelers.

5:32- Fan in Elway jersey visibly yells "You Suck!" at the Snake. Cue Rick Pitino..."John Elway is NOT walking through that door. Terrell Davis, Shannon Sharpe, they're NOT walking through that door, and if they do they're going to be gray and old."

5:55- Just when the Broncos can really make this a game, the Snake gets sacked twice in a row and fumbles. Steelers ball...VINTAGE Jake the Snake.

6:01- Roethlisberger dives in for 6. CNN is going to project this one for Pittsburgh. 34-17 Steelers.

6:03- Please prepare yourselves for the hundreds of "the Bus is driving home to Detroit" references that you will hear in the next excruciatingly long 2 weeks.

6:10- Game over. 6-seed in the Super Bowl. Go nuts America.

6:11- Big Ben goes to shake hands with the Snake and accidentally drops his AFC Champions hat in front of Plummer. Ben goes for the hat before Jake's hand, reaches for it for an awkward 4 seconds while Plummer looks on in humiliated disbelief. It was a great year for No Mistake Jake, but you KNEW he would go out this way.

6:13- Time to watch the Seahawks-Steve Smith game. Laaaaate.