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Shannon sharpe misdemeanor battery charges dying probably isn't very much fun. i have to i...

 
 

The Death of a “Dynasty”

Dateline Denver.

The Broncos just won their first playoff game without the name Elway behind center, Jake Plummer got a raise from Al-Queda by distracting us all with his bootlegs and defeating the Patriots, and Dan Marino who made the quote “Jake Plummer will have to beat the Patriots and I don’t think he can”, is crying somewhere probably with Shannon Sharpe, who surprise, surprise picked the Broncos, laughing at him and me, well I’m happier then a pig in shit. You see I’m from Philadelphia…that’s all I have to say.

When I first started watching the game I saw a play that totally changed my view of the New England Patriots. The Broncos bought about nine men in the box on a full blitz and basically what happened was there was a false start call, and John Lynch pumped his fist in the air and got the crowd, that hasn’t seen a playoff game since this particular one in question, in to the game and Brady responded with the same gesture almost as if undermining him, it just really got me ticked off and this was in the first three minutes of play, I think it was the first possession. It showed an attitude of Brady, and from that moment I knew they were doomed.

If there was ever a team to defeat the New England Patriots it would be the Denver Broncos. This season the Broncos and the Hawks were reminiscent of the New England team that “stole” some Superbowls. They found ways to win, and ways to loose. They were excellent when things came home. At home field I believe they were perfect, yep perfect. They made do with what they could, if the run game wasn’t working they could pass, and the pass was shut down they could run. They returned to their level of play and most importantly don’t have to face the Colts, thus becoming my Super Bowl pick and the odds on favorite. Somewhere my Uncle Mark and my friend Frank Morrani are happier then a pig in shit. I don’t blame them, so am I. The Pats finally lost.

See the Patriots are the evil empire of the NFL. If I had to hear a dumb speech from Tom Brady and the word “dynasty” one more time, I might have cried or killed someone, whichever would have been less time consuming so probably the crying, although you can kill people quickly. The Patriots in one night managed in my mind at least almost wipe away three or four years of the dynasty. The Defense played horribly, their was some pushing and shoving that went against the Diet Pepsi Machine/Visa Check Card ideals of a Mr. Tom Brady and the Patriots as whole, things just were amuck and of course that hit on Champ Bailey. The man sprints 90 yards downfield gets knocked out of bounds, it’s the play you gotta try to make and gets JACKED in the back, cheap hit but the play to make. Patriots fans have spoken they are impressed a Tight End could run that fast, they always find the silver lining.

Speaking of Patriots fans the following is me clarifying every Patriot argument used:

-“The Tuck Rule” : No such thing. Face the facts Pats fans Tom Brady fumbled in the snow, the Raiders won the game. The NFL fix was in. A linemen’s brother was a Firefighter in New York it was the Super Bowl right after 9/11. A team like the Patriots it gave the country hope and moral support and all that happy horse shit. They won by three points, on a game ending Adam V field goal, clearly the makings of a dynasty. That was sarcasm

-“Three Points” : The margin of victory in each and every Superbowl win by the Pats. That shows that the Pats along with certain teams they have played cannot close. Winning by three is like getting the last out with the bases loaded up only two…it’s just, just…not good.

-“Tom Brady” : Nowhere near as good as everyone says he is. Sure he has won in the post season but the man has made some uber bad decisions as well, and no I’m not talking about the Visa commercials. How bout the decision to throw the ball from his ass into the arms of a DB for the Miami Dolphins to get handed a lost last season, or the various other bad throws he has made over the years. Tom Brady is def. Top five material but he’s not that good.

That’s really about it. I would say I told you so about the Panthers vs. the Bears but…I’m too tired. Coming soon...my picks for this weekend...my picks for the Superbowl and the draft talk (Vince Young to the Saints....???!!!)



Dying probably isn't very much fun.

I have to imagine it ranks just above being sentenced to a Federal Pound-
You-In-The-Ass Prison, and just below being forced to watch the entire
collection of Ted Danson.

But once it's all over, assuming you've followed the rules set forth within
the Bible, the fun part is only beginning. And as a side note, I wonder when
our world's constant desire to over hype things will eventually get the name
of the Bible changed to, The Bible: This Time, Jesus Means Business, or something similar.

Anyways, once you get to heaven you get to reunite with all your loved ones.
At least, the ones who also followed the rules.

But what if you are the first of your group of family and friends to pass away?

That's right, it would be like going to Hawaii by yourself. Only it would be
overrun by Jesus freaks. You could still have all the "fun" you wanted, but
you'd have to do it without all the people you really want to hang out with.
All the hardcore believers would only want to talk about Jesus and what he
was up to that day.

And this begs the all important question...

What kind of clothes does Jesus wear?

I'm betting he's a metro-sexual. I figure he likes his form fitting t-shirts
and expensive Khakis. But honestly, is everyone running around naked up
there, or what? I need to know things like this before I make any life
changing decisions.

I just started reading The End Of Faith by Sam Harris.

I'm only 80 pages in, but I already highly recommend it. The only problem
I have with it, is how difficult it is for a moron like me to read it. It's
like reading a textbook at times because of how deeply he digs into each issue.

I need pictures, swear words, and constant breaks to look at internet porn
if I'm going to get thru an entire book on anything nowadays.

Jared from Subway had an actual segment on the CBS NFL broadcast. At first
I was pissed off because I was already in for watching two sports broadcasts
on the worlds shittiest network for sports coverage. Then I tried to put
things in perspective, and it made me feel better. I figured that 5 minutes
of Jared was better than even one more minute of Boomer Esiason, and that
douchebag Shannon Sharpe, who refuses to take those freaking marbles out of
his horse mouth.

The network looks like it's still using technology from the late 90's. How
the executives of CBS can watch what goes on over at NBC, FOX, and even ABC,
and not fire everyone in site makes me want to kick a baby.

I'm just getting back in to the swing of things from a week out in beautiful
New Jersey for training. I don't miss the work or the hotel so much, but I
miss hanging out with people I wish I didn't live so damn far from.

Alphonso is sad.

I should be back to my regular scheduled ranting and such. Sorry about the
long break, hopefully that will leave me all sorts of refreshed to bust out
some quality junk. (Huge Junk, no doubt)

~
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