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There are three days that I have marked on my calendar every year: the season finale of American Idol, Puff Daddy's birthday party, and my family and friends' annual fantasy football draft.
Ok, only one of those things is true. I've never even had a calendar. But if I did, I'd certainly leave November 4th left open for the possibility of a birthday invitation from Mr. Diddy.
Nonetheless, since I've never been to Puffy's B-day Bash, TFFL Draft Day remains my favorite day of the year. Its hard to explain why, with draft day becoming increasingly predictable. This year seemed especially familiar. Raf was up to his old wheeling and dealing tricks, Justin was continuing his love affair with tight ends (in possibly a different context), the old man was drafting crappy Bears players, and Amy brought Sun Chips.
Yup, the TFFL Draft was back in all its glory. This year marked year number two from the Commish's basement, a place that seems to bring out the best in all of us. Hell, even my constant reciting of Hawk Harrelson sayings and lines from Anchorman aren't quite as tiresome and old.
But regardless of all the extracurricular nonsense that occurs in the depths of the Stahnke house, this is still a fantasy football draft. And its a day that separates the winners from the losers; a day that decides who gets one of those giant checks at the end of the year; a day that determines who gets a lapdance from the Commish at the TFFL banquet.
And now I will take it upon myself to decide who will be playing deep into December, and who will driving the winners home from the banquet. So, if you'd allow me a moment, I am now going to ridicule each and every one of your drafts, and subsequently, your lives.
Amish Rake Fight (owner: Yours truly)
Good thinkin: Landing Julius Jones with my first pick, in a draft short on running backs, could go a long way towards righting the ship, granted that he stays healthy. I also managed to do a decent job at landing top notch scorers at the secondary positions (kicker, defense, coach) with Neil Rackers, Chiefs D and Mike Holmgrem added to the mix.
What the?: Reggie Brown in the third round was definitely a stretch. He has potential, and will benefit from being the number one receiver in Philly, but he could have easily been obtained in round five. Could have also done a better job getting a quality backup QB, in case Donovan McNabb's career keeps spiraling downward.
Grade: Not enough offensive firepower added to offset the declining performance of McNabb. The team has some promise, but question marks remain: C+
Bears (owner: The Old Man)
Good thinkin: Getting Denver RB Tatum Bell in the third round could be a steal, now that he'll be the featured back in the Broncos offense. If he has a breakout year, the Bears could be among the favorites to win the Stupid Bowl.
What the?: With their least stable position being at running back, where do the Bears start? By drafting two wide receivers. And here's the bigger head scratcher: one of those receivers is coming off a serious knee injury (Jevon Walker) and the other is member of the not so threatening Chicago Bears offense (Muhsin Muhammad).
Grade: These guys seem to come into every draft pretty well set. This year they had Peyton Manning, Willis McGahee and Marvin Harrison. Unfortunately, their supporting cast isn't nearly as frightening: C
Carter Ragin Cajuns (owner: Dempsey, Carolyn and Syvanah Carter)
Good thinkin: They managed to land QB Ben Roethlisberger, probably the second best QB in the draft, in the second round. And Dominick Rhodes, granted that he beats out Joseph Addai for the starting RB job in Indy, could be a steal in the third round. Being a featured back in a high powered offense always makes for interesting potential.
What the?: They start their draft, as well as their return from a one year absence, with the selection of RB Corey Dillon with the third overall pick. Apparently, they failed to realize that Dillon has been slowly declining in recent years, and that his starting job in New England is currently in jeopardy. This was probably the most puzzling pick of the draft.
Grade: The selection of Dillon in the first round, as well as the shot in the dark known as Duce Staley unfortunately overshadow some good picks in between: C-
Colorado Rippers (owner: Teresa Steele and Rick Sackschewsky)
Good thinkin: While drafting Reggie Bush was questioned ever since they announced the selection back in December, the pick should bode well for the future. He is a special talent, and if he becomes an elite running back, he gives the Rippers a solid building block for years to come.
What the?: They drafted TE Todd Heap about three rounds too early. They also made the Broncos D, Jason Elam and Mike Shanahan the first of their positions to be taken, when none of them are in the top 5 at their positions as far as fantasy points go.
Grade: They probably would have scored an A- if they hadn't let their Denver Bronco love get in the way. Nonetheless, they added Reggie Bush and some decent secondary players to an already solid returning core: B
D.C. Bushleaguers (owner: Brian and Amy Schmaranzer)
Good thinkin: Tory Holt basically fell into their laps, but it was still an excellent pickup. Adding WR Derrik Mason to go with Holt and Andre Johnson will give them one of the better receiving corps. in the league.
What the?: They failed to find the impact running back that they need, and their will probably be a heavy burden on Cadillac Williams to have a big year for them. They could be helped by the fact that both Kevan Barlow and Frank Gore have starting jobs now, but neither of them have proven to be consistent scorers.
Grade: While not an Earth shattering draft, they picked up their share of solid players and have put together a team with a solid future: B+
Fightn Frigates (owner: Fred "Rick" Stahnke)
Good thinkin: Getting WR Jerry Porter was a quality pickup in round eight.
What the?: Where to start? Santana Moss would be a great pickup if he had a decent QB throwing to him. And the big problem: they drafted his QB, Mark Brunell in the second round. To put it lightly, Mark Brunell sucks. And he is now the starting QB for the Frigates.
Grade: The Mark Brunell pick in the second round was a waste. Only their later round picks (Colts D, Marcus Robinson) save them from getting an F. Instead, they get: D-
Gaylord Fockers (owner: Rafael Ferrera)
Good thinkin: While on the surface, the Chad Johnson and a draft pick for Tiki Barber appeared to be a foolish trade, I think this one might end up being a solid move. The leagues point system is heavily favorable to running backs, and pairing Barber with the newly acquired Larry Johnson should keep the Fockers amongst the elite.
What the?: The trade did have its drawbacks, most notably the giant hole that it left in the Fockers receiving corps. They consistently tried to address this throughout the draft, only to come up with mixed results (the best receiver landed was Deion Branch, who is currently holding out).
Grade: Drew Bledsoe, taken in the 4th round, will make or break this team. If the T.O. experiment in Dallas fails, that could doom this team. Nonetheless, their formidable running combo will win them some games: B
Harper Hoochie Mamas (owner: Heather and J. Nordin)
Good thinkin: Landing Trent Green to conclude the first round was a steal. And although they traded the wrong running back to land Anquoin Boldin, the trade did allow the defending champs to add some depth to an already solid core.
What the?: They made a lot of safe picks, so its hard to question their logic on most of them. Unfortunately for the Hoochies, they were unable to land a #1 receiver to compliment a strong running and passing game. Their current receiving corps. consist of some fading #2's and a bunch of #3's.
Grade: Luckily for the Hoochies, the Larry Johnson trade has no bearing on their grade, and they did manage to salvage some good picks as the result of it: A
Indiana Rednecks (owner: Jason, Eva and Jared Sagan)
Good thinkin: Actually, it didn't take much thinking at all when Matt Hasselbeck, by far the best QB available, fell in their lap at the #4 pick. They also picked up Donte Stallworth, who established himself as the #1 receiver for the Saints last year, in the second round. He could do wonders for their chances if he can stay healthy.
What the?: Taking Cedric Benson in the 3rd round is cause for a head examination. Not only is he hindered by a terrible Bears offense, he'll most likely be the #2 back and should see very few scoring opportunities.
Grade: Besides the Benson pick, the Rednecks did fairly well, with the selection of a top scoring defense (Carolina) in the 4th round, and a possible sleeper in Marion Barber, who could make some noise if the often injured Julius Jones goes down as the starting Dallas running back: B
Kenya Diggit (owner: Zack Stiff)
Good thinkin: While he's not one of the safest running backs to take, getting Thomas Jones in the 7th round was a solid pick. He has managed to find the end zone at a decent rate the past couple years, and in a draft short on running back talent, that he was still around in the 7th round was shocking.
What the?: They could have done much better than the Falcons D in the 4th round. And with a fading Brett Favre, I would have started off with drafting a QB in the first round, where several quality QB's were still available (Brees, Warner, Roethlisberger and Green come to mind).
Grade: They were able to catch Jake Plummer in the 3rd round, who despite his maddening inconsistency, could hold the fort quite well for a team on the rise: B
Montana Deadmen (owner: Cindi Avila/Justin Casey)
Good thinkin: While already possessing the fantasy football equivalent to Jesus himelf (LaDainian Tomlinson), and a cast of talented receivers, priority number one was to score a reliable QB. And they did just that by taking Drew Brees in the 1st round. He's not the best QB around, but when healthy, he's good enough.
What the?: The Deadmen's obsession with tight ends sure isn't a healthy one, but they did manage to pick up some good ones this year (most notably, Heath Miller and Kellen Winslow). But waiting too long to take a defense left them with the Vikings D. Yuck!
Grade: The team that I have as the early favorites to win this years Stupid Bowl did what they needed to do, and the rest of the league better take notice: A
Sawtooth Mountain Wolves (owner: Keith and Jeff Thomson, and Edna O'Neill)
Good thinkin: Taking Michael Vick in the 3rd round could be a huge move in the right direction if he ever learns how to play QB. His raw talent has never translated that well to fantasy numbers, but as a 3rd round pick, the possible payoff can only be a positive.
What the?: Picking LenDale White in the 2nd round was definitely a stretch. At the moment, he is nothing more than a backup running back who's work ethic has been questioned. Not exactly the formula for rookie success.
Grade: The Wolves, still recovering from the Marshall Faulk and Kurt Warner fall from grace, had some work to do going into the draft, and had some work to do coming out of it. WR Roy Williams will help if he stays healthy, but QB Marc Bulger and RB LaMont Jordan have a big load to carry: C
Siberian Spittin Cobras (owner: Mike Thomson)
Good thinkin: Rookie RB Joseph Addai would have been highly sought after come round 2. But the Cobras snuck in there and took him in round one. With a team clearly moving towards a youth movement, this was a solid pick.
What the?: Brandon Lloyd has never been that good of a receiver, and his results as the number one option in San Francisco were less than great. Now he's the number two option for Mark Brunell in Washington, which basically confirms that taking him in the 4th round was a mistake.
Grade: Its hard to accurately grade a team that decided to draft for future rather than now. While overall, they accumulated some possible breakout players, few of them will have much of an impact this year, which doesn't bode well in fantasyland: C-
South Park Rangers (owner: Craig and Theresa Stahnke)
Good thinkin: The team that brought the house down with a Kevin Butler 2nd round selection a few years back, actually made some logical picks this time around. Taking DeShaun Foster in the 1st round should help solidify their previously non-existent running game, and they added some decent receivers into the mix (McCardell and Jurovicious).
What the?: They probably could have done more to address their running back situation. They waited till round 8 to take Brandon Jacobs, who remains their only backup to DeShaun Foster.
Grade: Overall, the Rangers gathered some solid players. Drafting a better RB would have given them a solid B+, but they'll have to settle for a...: B-
TFFL Expos (owner: P. Diddy)
Good thinkin: Trading their first round pick for Chad Johnson and getting Kurt Warner will help put the team nobody wants in a very desirable position: the TFFL playoffs. They were also lucky enough to have Kevin Jones fall to them in the second round. If he can live up to the hype and rebound from a disappointing sophomore season, things could get interesting for this team.
What the?: ...
Grade: The Expos came away from the 2006 Draft as the most improved team in the league. They had by far the most successful early rounds, and they closed well by getting the high scoring Bengals D: A+
Village Idiots (owner: Phil Stahnke)
Good thinkin: Trading their first round pick got them RB Rudi Johnson, who probably wouldn't have made it past pick #3 if he were actually in the draft. And if his touchdown rate goes the same direction as his yardage rate, Reuben Droughns could be a steal with their second round pick. But possibly the biggest steal of the draft was the selection of Laurence Mulroney in round 4, with Mulroney threatening to take the New England starting RB spot from Corey Dillon.
What the?: Taking WR Nate Burleson in the 5th round may have been a bit too high. He had a disappointing year last year and dealt with reocurring knee injuries for the entire season. He will also have to settle for being the #3 receiver for Seattle this year.
Grade: After a rough season, the Idiots are reloaded. A lot of their season rests on the recovery of QB Daunte Culpepper, but unlike last year, the strong supporting cast that was assembled through this years draft should lessen the load on the injury-prone QB: A
With the Steelers reporting to Latrobe next week for training camp, it's time for those of us in the McIlwain household to begin to get into "football mode" again. What a season it will be as the Steelers defend their Super Bowl title!
To set the mood, I'd like to post briefly about the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Of all the sports Halls, this seems the most "elite"; excellent players don't always make it into the Hall. Players need that certain "something extra" to enjoy induction.
As for future inductees, here are my picks as to "locks" (who are a sure thing) and other possibilities...
* Shaun Alexander, RB, Seattle Seahwaks - POSSIBLE (another few excellent seasons needed)
* Larry Allen, G, Dallas/San Francisco - LOCK
* Bill Belichick, Head Coach, Cleveland/New England - LOCK
* Jerome Bettis, RB, Rams/Pittsburgh - LOCK
* Brian Billick, Head Coach, Baltimore Ravens - POSSIBLE
* Drew Bledsoe, QB, New England/Buffalo/Dallas - LONGSHOT
* Tom Brady, QB, New England Patriots - LOCK
* Cris Carter, WR, Minnesota Vikings - PROBABLE
* Bill Cowher, Head Coach, Pittsburgh Steelers - LOCK
* Dermotti Dawson, C, Pittsburgh Steelers - POSSIBLE
* Alan Faneca, G, Pittsburgh Steelers - POSSIBLE
* Marshall Faulk, RB, Indianapolis/St. Louis - LOCK
* Brett Favre, QB, Green Bay Packers - LOCK
* Dennis Green, Head Coach, Minnesota/Arizona - LONGSHOT
* Marvin Harrison, WR, Indianapolis Colts - PROBABLE
* Mike Holmgren, Head Coach, Green Bay/Seattle - POSSIBLE
* Michael Irvin, WR, Dallas Cowboys - LOCK
* Edgerrin James, RB, Indianapolis/Arizona - POSSIBLE
* Jimmy Johnson, Head Coach, Dallas/Miami - POSSIBLE
* Peyton Manning, QB, Indianapolis Colts - PROBABLE (a few more astounding seasons or a Super Bowl ring will make him a lock)
* Curtis Martin, RB, New England/New York Jets - LOCK
* Steve McNair, QB, Houston/Tennessee/Baltimore - POSSIBLE
* Donovan McNabb, QB, Phildelphia Eagles - POSSIBLE (needs to win without T.O., and probably needs a Super Bowl ring)
* Randy Moss, WR, Minnesota/Oakland - POSSIBLE (maybe the most talented athlete in NFL history, he just hasn't produced enough)
* Terrell Owens, WR, San Francisco/Philadelphia/Dallas - POSSIBLE (a great playmaker who needs a bit more success)
* Bill Parcells, Head Coach, Giants/New England/Jets/Dallas - LOCK
* Willie Roaf, T, New Orleans/Kansas City - POSSIBLE (excellent stats but not a dominant figure)
* Deion Sanders, CB, Atlanta/San Francisco/Dallas/Washington/Baltimore - LOCK
* Marty Schottenheimer, Head Coach, Cleveland/Kansas City/Washington/San Diego - POSSIBLE
* Emmitt Smith, RB, Dallas/Arizona - LOCK
* Junior Seau, LB, San Diego/Miami - NEAR-LOCK
* Mike Shanahan, Head Coach, Raiders/Denver - POSSIBLE (needs to win the big one without Elway)
* Will Shields, G, Kansas City Chiefs - POSSIBLE (excellent stats but not a dominant figure)
* Michael Strahan, DE, New York Giants - PROBABLE (I'm not completely sold on his status as a "lock"...excellent player but not a dominant defender a la White or Taylor)
* Hines Ward, WR, Pittsburgh Steelers - PROBABLE (another great season or 2 will lock him in)
* Rod Woodson, DB, Pittsburgh/San Francisco/Baltimore - LOCK
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