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Top gun, never on the run
They know not to come cause they all get some
Goin' quicker in the speedin' lane
Jealous can't do it and it's causin' them pain
The two combatants from January’s AFC Championship have had their share of road troubles lately. We’re not talking a rattling muffler or some homeless cat pissing on their bumper. Unless you’ve been sleeping in a cave, the Steelers’ Ben Roethlisberger catapulted himself through the air like Evil Knievel this week, suffering major damage to his cabeza and leaving his Chiclets looking like a set of ‘Billy Bob’ teeth.
Last month, the local 11’s signal caller Jake Plummer, who looks like he lives in a cave, was involved in a road rage incident here in the Mile High City. Seems some unsuspecting local resident had the nerve to pick a fight with Jake on a heavily traveled artery here in town. Jake and the man had several instances of passes and cut offs before- allegedly- Jake slammed his Honda Element into reverse and crushed dude’s bumper like the Steelers defense crushed Jake’s passer rating last January. As one caller to local radio said after the incident, “those were the best passes Jake completed since the New England game.”
The sorriest thing about both these road foibles? Big Ben’s refusal to wear a helmet? Maybe he thinks if he wears one that Hines Ward won’t wave to him when he pulls into the practice facility. Jake’s inability to channel his anger on the road? This isn’t surprising since Jake has:
-flipped off the local fans after a shitty performance
-berated a local gossip columnist after she revealed he was dating a Bronco cheerleader.
"battled with the almighty NFL over stickers on the back of his helmet .
"hearing the footsteps of Bronco draftee Jay Cutler behind him.
The most surprising thing is Jake’s rig, a Honda Element. Yes, a Honda Element. Not a tricked out, Xzibit pimped, rims spinning, rig deserving of a NFL QB. But pretty much a stock, off the lot, Honda Element. No word if Jake was listening to the local smooth jazz station, with a bag full of soccer balls in the back, sucking a Moca Latte when he was driving. Come on Jake, your Steeler counterpart is rolling hard like he’s in a DMX video while you and the soccer moms are talking about Target bakeware sale. Jake, calm down, get a haircut, and then hit up the local Caddy yard and don’t leave until you are ridin hard. As Rick Ross says: Whip it real hard, whip it whip it real hard. That and start throwing some strikes to Javon Walker, because you’ll be looking for a new gig come next off-season.
Drew Litton's take on Jake Plummer road rage (RMN)
More picts of the Bronco cheerleaders (Broncos official)
Preseason causes people to do crazy things. For instance, there was once a guy who traded Marvin Harrison straight up for Ryan Leaf back in 1998, all based on preseason performance. While the Leaf pick looked good for about two weeks (until his career ended in Kansas City the following week), let's just say that guy did not win his fantasy league that season.
The lesson is that you cannot put too much stock into preseason performances of quarterbacks. Phillip Rivers, Jay Cutler and Brian Griese all looked solid this weekend. But don't get too excited. These guys are playing against vanilla defenses, with virtually no blitzing. It would be almost impossible to not have a good game at quarterback during the preseason.
Unless, of course, you are Rex Grossman or Vince Young.
Grossman, according to a radio report, was so off the mark this weekend that his passes couldn't even be intercepted. And this guy is supposed to be the second coming of Jim McMahon? Young was equally as awful"although he looks to have patented Brett Favre's "Ill-advised toss over-the-shoulder" pass. Young had not looked this overwhelmed since he held a No. 2 pencil in his hand and grabbed his Wonderlic test.
Titans coach Jeff Fisher was undaunted, however, as he said that he would like to start Young much earlier than anticipated this season. That shows that Fisher either wants to be fired immediately or he really wanted to make the Titans Super Bowl Buzz Kill super easy.
Do, however, buy the preseason hype for running backs. Reggie Bush is the real deal. But most people outside of former Houston GM Charlie Casserly already knew that. Bush rushed for 59 yards on six attempts. Hopefully there is truth to those rumors that Casserly was paid off by the NFL to pass on Bush so he could land to the Saints who will be relocating to Los Angeles in 2007. For Casserly, that would make a lot more sense than the truth. (But Roger Goodell would never be involved in anything shady.)
Hey, how did Texans defensive end Mario Williams do this weekend? You remember him, the guy the club selected instead of Bush. Williams had one tackle in one quarter and was abused by Chiefs tackle Kyle Turley, who played in his first game since 2003. Solid pick, Texans.
The news wasn’t all good for the Saints. "T-Rac," the Titans raccoon-like mascot, hit quarterback Adrian McPherson with a golf cart as he walked onto the field for the second-half on Saturday night, knocking him out of the game. It was later learned that "T-Rac" was a former client of McPherson's former college book-making operation, and was looking to collect on a debt.
Titans running back LenDale White was suspended from the game for allegedly spitting on his defensive teammates. But Bush treated those Titans defenders much worse.
New Panthers receiver Keyshawn Johnson showed that he was already in mid-season form as he caught a lot of passes, but still could not find the endzone in the team's exhibition opener.
Did the Yankees clone Rick Cerone? That was the second question asked behind, how is Sal Fasano still in the league? Figured he would retire after having a cup of coffee with the Angels championship team in 2002. And for the record, watching a Angels game at Taco Surf on Friday is cool. Watching the replay is depressing. Cheering the replay is clinical.
AND FINALLY
Horse racing has to be the most corrupt sport ever. Never going back to a race track after the "Del Mar Screw Job" on Saturday. A high-paying trifecta was erased in the ninth race after the No. 9 horse was disqualified for running too fast. It was enough to make somebody want to break a couple of TV monitors and punch the owner of the track.
It would also figure that "The Bish" is kind of horse-racing expert.
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