Jay Cutler 2c Hair Removal

Though he will be tempted to strengthen the fear he now strikes into NFL quarterbacks, T-Rac will not go after Jay Cutler during tonight's preseason competition between the Titans and Broncos. If there is anything that distinguishes the raccoon from most mascot beasts, it is the opposable thumb. But if there are two things, the second would be their gift of being quite media savvy for a rat with thumbs. T-Rac knows the local press wouldn't have his back on this one.

By the way, I actually went to high school and two years of college with the guy who wears the T-Rac suit. Pete helped put himself through school and earn his history degree by donning the lion suit for the University of North Alabama. After that he went to work as the mascot for the Birmingham Barons before landing his current gig with the Titans.

He definitely beat out all the doctors and lawyers for the "guy with the most impressive job" award at the high school reunion.

NFL Preseason Kick Off
Can You Feel The Excitement

Someone once said something like “if you are going to understand the mind of America, you must understand baseball.� Well, we obviously used to be a lot smarter then because that quote no longer rings true. Now it’s the NFL (and sorry, I know NECKCAR is hot and all, but like Randy Quaid, it isn’t necessarily welcomed into all our homes) and there is rejoicing as the long dry spell of Spring and Summer is finally over and actual games are being played.

Please note that these are “preseason� games, not exhibitions, because the NFL charges full price for them and hates to give the impression that nothing is at stake. Never mind that if you show up late, you might miss all the starters and end up seeing guys like the immortal Bradlee Van Pelt running for his life behind the third string offensive line. Or that most starters don’t even play in the final preseason game.

That’s all just details and negativity and you whiners miss the point that football is back and we can all sit down and enjoy our militaristic, ass-kicking national pastime again. Even better this year is the NFL Network is televising all preseason games live or on tape-delay. So you can kick back early on a Sunday morning and watch the Chiefs â€" Texans followed by the Saints and Titans. Even mo’ better, the NFL Network has a Saturday Night show called No Huddle where they do live coverage of all the games going on. That was awesome, although they could have spent less time in the studio and more time on the games. Butch Davis is as effective a studio guy as he was as the head coach of the Cleveland Browns. Davis is about as edgy as Time Magazine’s infamous Ann Coulter profile and is clearly lurking in the weeds, campaigning for another job. Again, that’s just quibbling with what was actually a great concept â€" live football all night long.

So if you hippies want to win the hearts and minds of the enemy, you best do it with the NFL since I don’t think your Volvo’s will play very well at a NASCAR event. The battle between your local cable provider and the NFL over whether to carry the channel is like Godzilla vs. Rhodan and since either way the rich will get richer and you’ll have to pay for it, you might as well get your games.

Some thoughts after an unproductive weekend of watching meaningless NFL games on the tube…

· Although the preseason is the ultimate case of caveat emptor, sometimes you can draw conclusions from the games. For example, last year I witnessed a young Dallas defense totally dominate the Houston Texans starters and I predicted bad things for a team many people thought was going to take the leap to playoff contender. I was right (and let’s not revisit all of my crappy NFL predictions like the Eagles returning to the Super Bowl) and the Texans cratered, finishing with the worst record in the league. This year, Houston looked a lot better although that could be related to the Chiefs’ inability to stop the run, any run. Also, Larry Johnson is the #1 fantasy stud, especially since they are throwing him the ball this year. I know some of you love LT, but remember what happened to Terrell Davis when Brian Griese became the starter? Rookie quarterbacks usually do not equal success for the running game when eight men are always in the box. I know there are exceptions to the rule, but they are exceptions and most first year QBs suck and drag the rest of the stats down with them.

· Brett Favre may already be regretting his decision to return to the Pack. He looked like a delirious Jim Bowie getting taken down by the Mexican army at the Alamo. There were guys coming from everywhere as the Chargers abused the (yet again) reconfigured Packer line. Although it was nice to see first year head coach Mike McCarthy call an on-side kick and a no-huddle offense with over twelve minutes left in the fourth quarter. That really made a difference in the 17-3 final.

·The McCarthy incident brings to mind the utter paucity of relying on preseason records. Much like no one remembers who wins the Cactus League in August, finishing with a good exhibition record has no weight in January. For every team like the 2005 Broncos who went 4-0 and then finished 13-3, we have the 1989 Cowboys. In Jimmah’s first year, Dallas went something like 3-1 in the preseason and the Metroplex was buzzing with excitement. Then the team went 1 â€" 15. Oops. Why the difference? Because Johnson was playing his starters and second string deep into games against other teams’ taxi squad guys so he could “build confidence.â€� Said confidence lasted about midway through a 28-0 loss to the Saints on opening day. A good gauge of how your team will do is this: if you are playing your starters and the other side isn’t and you are still getting beat, expect bad things…

· Some rookies looked good: Broncos QB Jay Cutler was awesome in his debut â€" of course so was John Elway and his rookie season was awful. Reggie Bush looked like he was still at USC, breaking off a big run against the Titans. Vince Young showed that he could run like a mother, but his passing left a bit to be desired and then he got hurt. Is it a sprained ankle or something worse? Only time will tell.

· Then you have controversial #1 pick Mario Williams who had ½ of a tackle (that’s tackle, not sack) against the Chiefs. Now remember that it’s still very early and this guy could be the second coming of LT, but in the instant gratification 24-hour news society, he better kick it in gear this year or he’ll always be Sam Bowie to Bush’s Jordan.

· Finally, although I am one of the first people to complain about the general downward trend in sports broadcasting, the announcers that inhabit the booths for NBC, CBS, FOX and ESPN are gods compared to the local “talent.â€� The disparity in production values is even greater. Witness, KCNC-4’s telecast of the Broncos â€" Lions game from Detroit on Friday night. They missed five plays including Denver’s first two offensive snaps. I mean, it isn’t like NFL games don’t have a standard amount of time for commercial breaks. This isn’t like when your dumbass friend gets NFL Sunday Ticket but can’t figure out his own system so you miss the first few plays of the game. No, this is much more heinous since those involved are alleged professionals and they do the same thing every year. At least when ESPN is showing you a close up of Fred Smoot’s head while the action is going on, it’s most likely intentional…

Robert 'Dr. Bob Mantooth' is a Denver based free lance writer/security consultant who kindly offers his insight on sports and society on a weekly basis.