| |
I've got a preliminary plan for this week postings; and since I actually had a relatively calm weekend (there's no need to get hydrated tonight), I'm going to dive right in. Tonight, I give you my blatantly biased and under-researched NFL preview, complete with playoff and Super Bowl picks. Frankly, if I get half of the playoff teams correct, it'll be a small miracle. As always, I'm sure to have completely irrational picks and reasons for those picks. But, hopefully, we'll have a little fun. And if not, just watch the Saudia Arabian team in the Little League World Series.
I figured I'd get this out of the way first. The Saudis are playing with a first baseman who is 6'8" and 256 pounds. And he's 13. Amazingly, his name is Aaron Durley, an interesting trend of the Saudi Arabian players with American names. No doubt the heavy American military presence in the area has an effect on this. Here are some names of team members: Nate Barnett, Daniel Clark, Michael Knight and Andrew Holden. Here is a team picture.
I'll be honest, this is all a little much for me. I mean, seriously, it's a bunch of American kids whose parents are in the military. That just seems unfair. Sure, there are a couple kids who at least appear to have native surnames, but I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't care but so much about the integrity of the Little League World Series, but I mean the guy is bigger than Ben Wallace. That's an enormous Little Leaguer.
Ok, enough of that, on to the NFL preview. I'm going to run down how I think each division will finish, then pick the playoff teams and winners. Again, the only research that is going into this is just generally being aware of what happens in the NFL, and looking at each division on NFL to make sure I don't forget to include a team. Yeah, it's that bad. And we'll start with the best division in the league.
NFC East -
1. Redskins
2. Giants
3. Cowboys
4. Eagles
Honestly, all these teams could finish with about the same record. There is not much to differentiate each team. The Skins have the best defense, the Giants won the division last year after getting 9 home games, the Cowboys are the media's darling because they added a locker room cancer, and the Eagles can finally get back to playing football without said cancer. Why do I give the Skins the edge? Well aside from just wishful thinking, I think they get the edge because of Al Saunders, the new offensive coordinator, and the additions of Brandon Lloyd and Antwan Randle El. Last year, if the Skins had more receiving options than Santana Moss and Chris Cooley, they would have gone to the Super Bowl. This year, they have those options, and a new coordinator who has run one of the most successful offense in the league the past couple seasons. To be fair, the division could finish in the complete opposite order. I have no idea. I just know that Sean Taylor might end up ripping someone's arm off on the field, and then beat the person with his own arm. And then you'll see some ESPN schmuck writing an apologetic article saying what a good guy Taylor really is. And I'll buy every word.
NFC North -
1. Chicago
2. Minnesota
3. Green Bay
4. Detroit
From the best division in football to possibly the worst. While every team in the East could finish 10-6, every team in the North could finish 6-10. Then again, it's the North, so of course it sucks. The Bears win the division by default. There defense is solid, Rex Grossman will get hurt by week 3, allowing somebody terrible to take over, and leading to several games where the starting QB throws for under 100 yards, but they win because of a punt return or something. The Vikings could challenge since they no longer have Mike Tice running the show. I'll miss Big Mike and his challenging of players to fights in the locker room. I'm not one to tell people when to retire since I have no idea what his life is like, but it pains me to watch Brett Favruh play on such a bad team. But, at least it's not as bad as the Lions.
NFC South -
1. Tampa Bay
2. Carolina
3. Atlanta
4. New Orleans
This division was difficult. Who do you put your trust in? Chris Simms (Major's Better!), Jake Delhomme (honestly, his deal with the devil is about to expire, right?), Michael Vick (I've been such a great role model for my younger brother) or Drew Brees? Honestly, I think Brees is the best of the bunch, but the rest of the Saints - as in the defense - just aren't very good. Reggie Bush will be exciting to watch, but I'm not backing New Orleans as my pony. Carolina is the media's favorite pick to get to the Super Bowl, so, naturally, I shun them. That, and where were all you Panthers fans when the team was 1-15? Stutts and Bones, you're excused. The rest of the you - you should be ashamed of yourselves.
NFC West -
1. Seattle
2. Arizona
3. St. Louis
4. San Francisco
I really wanted to find a team to knock the Seahawks off their flimsy perch atop truly the worst division in football, but everyone else stinks. I mean, Arizona has some weapons, but either has an over-the-hill Kurt Warner or a herpes-riddled rookie Matt Leinart throwing and handing off to those weapons. Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald are capable receivers, and Edgerrin James is obviously a top back, the the QB position is kind of important. The Rams, well, they might be able to, but I just make a point not to pick them. Why? Torry Holt went to State. He may be able to fertilize a lawn with the best of them, but that's not winning you any football games. And the 49ers are brutal.
AFC East -
1. New England
2. Miami
3. Buffalo
4. NY Jets
I just don't see Miami overtaking the Patriots. I'm not sure Daunte Culpepper will be healthy, or really the solution to the QB problems down in South Beach. And I know, now, that Joey Harrington won't be either. The Bills, uh, well, do they still have JP Loathsome (nickname stolen from Chris Preston - resident Bills fan, although no one knows why he roots for them)? If they do, they are eliminated from contention. And the Jets, ha, well, they stink. Bad. D'Brickashaw will be a great O-lineman, but neither Pennington nor Ramsey (trust me on this one) or Bollinger will lead that team anywhere near the playoffs.
NFC North
1. Pittsburgh
2. Cincinnati
3. Baltimore
4. Cleveland
Sorry Gurney, but considering the Browns are already on their sixth (Sixth!) center during preseason, I just can't justify picking them anywhere but the cellar. All of these teams have QB questions coming into the season. In Pittsburgh, Roethlisberger is coming off the hood of some old woman's car. In Cincy, Carson Palmer is coming off ACL surgery from January. In Baltimore, Steve McNair is getting out of his wheelchair in an attempt to be more effective than Kyle Boller. And in Cleveland, Charlie Frye is trying to prove he is the QB of the future. And so, I ranked the teams in order of how well I think each QB will play this year. For the record, I think Frye could become very good, but not yet. Not yet.
AFC South -
1. Indianapolis
2. Jacksonville
3. Houston
4. Tennessee
The Colts are the class of this division. The Jags attempted to challenge the Colts last year, but lost both times. Sure, they won 11 games, but to take over this division, you have to beat Indy. I think the Colts will be able to make up adequately for the loss of James. If anything, Manning might have numbers reminiscent of the 2004 season. I would have put the Titans ahead of the Texans, but the Titans mascot ran into an opposing player with a golf cart during a preseason game. That's just terrible sports karma. Plus, I don't think Vince Young is ready to compete at the NFL level and Billy Volek isn't the answer. The Texans will probably be kicking themselves for not taking Reggie Bush.
AFC West
1. Denver
2. Kansas City
3. San Diego
4. Oakland
I think Kansas City might end up winning this division, but I'll give the Broncos the benefit of the doubt. I'm not sure, after all, Jake Plummer is the QB, but Herman Edwards is coaching the Chiefs. The Chargers are going to regret going with Rivers instead of Brees. Sure, it sounds like I'm just bashing State players all night, but I just think Rivers was a product of a system. A system which apparently produces a lot of draft picks, but very little actual success in college. Or, in the NFL really. The Raiders have Aaron Brooks playing quarterback. Randy Moss is going to be a pleasure to deal with with this dingbat as QB.
All right, here are the playoff picks:
NFC -
1. Seattle
2. Washington
3. Tampa Bay
4. Chicago
5. Giants
6. Panthers
Tampa Bay beats Carolina (I rejoice, but still think Major's better)
Giants beat Chicago (Who wins - Ditka vs. God? Trick question, Ditka is God.)
Redskins beat Tampa Bay (Joe Gibbs is in the Hall of Fame for a reason)
Seattle beats Giants (I don't like the Giants - side note: Lavar Arringto might end Mark Brunell's career this season)
Skins beat Seattle (Joe Gibbs, Joe Gibbs, Joe Gibbs. And Coach Janky Spanky)
AFC
1. Colts
2. Denver
3. Pittsburgh
4. Patriots
5. Dolphins
6. Bengals
Bengals beat Steelers (a little revenge, biatch)
Pats beat Dolphins (miami doesn't win in cold weather)
Bengals beat Colts (honestly, it's Peyton Manning)
Denver beats New England (Bill Simmons has to make excuses for second straight playoff loss to Plummer)
Bengals beat Denver (again, it's Jake Plummer)
Super Bowl
Redskins beat Bengals!!
As you can see, I'm completely incapable of making unbiased picks here. That said, it's still August and anything can happen. Everyone's got the same record right now. I really think the Bengals are moving in the correct direction, and if Palmer can be healthy, which it appears he will be, they are going to put up points and be very opportunistic on defense. The Skins have all the tools, but frankly it depends on Mark Brunell. Fortunately, my company is doing an insurance policy on our boy, and it's for a lot of money. So, you know, if Arrington does end his career with a vicious hit, then at least he'll have that to fall back on.
Anyway, it's getting late. I should mention the Sox got swept by the Yankees. All five games. That hurts.
All right, tomorrow night is the College Football preview. And don't worry, I'm not going to pick the Heels to win the BCS. Maybe the Gator Bowl, but not the National Championship. I mean, I am a man of reason.
ACC Nation draft selection
JustGiveMeTheShirts2
Shaun Alexander - rb
Tom Brady - qb
Anquan Boldin - wr
Alge Crumpler - te
Andre Johnson - wr
Tatum Bell - rb
Darrell Jackson - wr
LenDale White - rb
Lee Evans - wr
Donte Stallworth - wr
Tampa Bay Defense
Aaron Brooks - qb
Lawrence Tynes - k
Dallas Clark - te
Jacksonville Defense
Bird of Prey
Larry Johnson - rb
Torry Holt - wr
Warrick Dunn - rb
Donald Driver - wr
Roy Williams - wr
Deshon Foster - rb
Ben Watson - te
Michael Vick - qb
Michael Clayton - wr
Baltimore Defense
Kevin Barlow - rb
John Kitna - qb
Reggie Brown - wr
Jerius Norwood - rb
Michael Koenen - k
Sunnydale Razorbacks
LaDainian Tomlinson - rb
Chad Johnson - wr
Kevin Jones - rb
Santana Moss - wr
Todd Heap - te
Plaxico Burress - wr
Trent Green - qb
Mike Bell - rb
T.J. Duckett - rb
Shayne Graham - k
Seahawks Defense
Drew Brees - qb
Colts Defense
Vernon Davis - te
Stephen Gostkowski - k
BenzitosRBack
Tiki Barber - rb
Clinton Portis - rb
Donovan McNabb - qb
Jeremy Schockey - te
Daunte Culpeper - qb
Lawrence Maroney - rb
Rod Smith - wr
Chicago Defense
Jerry Porter - wr
Mark Clayton - wr
Ben Troupe - te
Mike Vanderjagt - k
Amani Toomer - wr
Ernest Wilford - wr
Lee Suggs - rb
Hokies Blow
Peyton Manning - qb
Steve Smith - wr
Marvin Harrison - wr
Tony Gonzalez - te
Thomas Jones - rb
Julius Jones - rb
Derrick Mason - wr
Rubin Droughns - rb
Wali Lundy - rb
Redskins Defense
Keenan McCardell - wr
Ben Rothlesburger - qb
Keyshon Johnson - wr
Jay Feely - k
Chris Brown - rb
Jasper Giants
LaMont Jordan - rb
Matt Hasselbeck - qb
Larry Fitzgerald - wr
Terrell Owens - wr
Jamal Lewis - rb
Alex Smith - te
Muhsin Muhammad - wr
Fred Taylor - rb
Jake Plummer - qb
Carolina Defense
Neil Rackers - k
Eric Moulds - wr
Jermaine Wiggins - te
Sebastian Janikowski - k
Denver Defense
Cherokee Chargers
Steven Jackson - rb
Eli Manning - qb
Reggie Wayne - wr
Jason Witten - te
Corey Dillion - rb
T.J. Houshmandzadeh - wr
Laveranues Coles - wr
Kurt Warner - qb
Marion Barber - rb
Dallas Defense
David Akers - k
David Givens - wr
Kellen Winslow - te
Jeff Reed - k
Miami Defense
The Visigoths
Carson Palmer - qb
Willie Parker - rb
Brian Westbrook - rb
Hines Ward - wr
Deuce McAllister - rb
Heath Miller - te
Eddie Kennison - wr
Joe Jurevicius - wr
Steve McNair - qb
Pittsburgh Defense
Bobby Engram - wr
L.J. Smith - te
John Kasay - k
Cincinnati Defense
Jeff Wilkins - k
Nashville Generals
Edgerrin James - rb
Reggie Bush - rb
Randy Moss - wr
Chris Chambers - wr
Joseph Addai - rb
Marc Bulger - qb
Frank Gore - rb
Drew Bennett - wr
Ahman Green - rb
Dominick Rhodes - rb
Chris Cooley - te
Mike Anderson - rb
Troy Williamson - wr
Byron Leftwich - qb
Patriots Defense
West End Explosion
Ronnie Brown - rb
Carnell Williams - rb
Antonio Gates - te
Chester Taylor - rb
Javon Walker - wr
Jake Delhomme - qb
Joe Horn - wr
Nate Burleson - wr
Deangelo Williams - rb
Greg Jennings - wr
Jason Elam - k
Brandon Jacobs - rb
Brett Favre - qb
Antonio Bryant - wr
Eagles Defense
AlGrohFanClub
Willis McGahee - rb
Rudi Johnson - rb
Philip Rivers - qb
Drew Bledsoe - qb
Joey Galloway - wr
Terry Glenn - wr
Adam Vinatieri - k
Matt Jones - wr
Antwaan Randle El - wr
Deion Branch - wr
Randy McMichael - te
Jerramy Stevens - te
Matt Schaub - qb
Cedric Benson - rb
Atlanta Defense
Denver Broncos Schedule
Other Searched Terms: marilyn plummer jake
, sonia flores and jake plummer
, jake plummer prevail
,
|
|
