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These are the Hbee Inc. Headlines for Thursday, August 10, 2006.
Following the disruption of a terrorist plot in London, airlines have banned all liquid and gel-based items from flights, including soda, coffee, cosmetics, and deodorant. American passengers have been cancelling flights in record numbers, and when asked why, the majority blamed the fear of being stuck on a flight next to some sweaty 300-pound dude without a drink in sight.
Connecticut senator and former presidential candidate Joe Lieberman lost the Democratic party to opponent Ned Lamont, in part because of widely circulated pictures of President Bush kissing Lieberman following the State of the Union Address. Karl Rove took credit for the defeat, calling his decision to have Bush kiss Lieberman a brilliant political ploy that offends liberals for the sense of intimacy between the two men and that offends conservatives for its image of two men kissing.
Remarking on the hate-filled blogs and e-mails he encountered while campaigning for Joe Lieberman, Lanny Davis declared in the Wall Street Journal opinion section this week that "bigotry and hate aren't just for right-wingers anymore." We at Hbee Inc. Radio would like to congratulate Mr. Davis for finally joining the rest of us in the 21st century.
Claire McCasskill won Missouri's Democratic Senate primary on Tuesday, setting up a November showdown against Senator Jim Talent. President Bush rushed to McCasskill's acceptance speech and attempted to kiss her, prompting Democratic Committee Chairman Howard Dean to file a restraining order against the President that will require him to remain at least 500 yards from any Democrat seeking election.
In sports, cheating, lying, conspiracies surrounding the French, and Jay Lenoâ€"once again, terms we’re used to hearing in American foreign policy come up in sports. Floyd Landis who moved so quickly to the lead position of the Tour de France after Stage 17 of the race, moved even more quickly from probable pathetic despicable cheat to definite pathetic despicable cheat after a second round of drug tests confirmed that he had indeed used testosterone as artificial as Barry Bonds’ home run records to win the Tour. But that’s only true if you believe the laboratories of the sneaky, diabolical ungrateful-for-being-bailed-out-in-World-War-II, if-you-want-to-do-it-we-don’t bane-of-Fox-News’-existence French. Many American cycling fans believe that the surrenderettes are falsifying Landis’ lab results as part of a vendetta against American cyclists like Landis, Lance Armstrong, and Greg LeMonde dominating their event. Many American cycling fans also believe in Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, and that we have a hope in hell of ever winning the war in Iraq. Landis decided to take his case directly to the people by appearing this week on that stalwart forum of public discourse, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. During his appearance, Landis suggested that his increased testosterone levels were due to something he ate. The claim added to a laundry list of worthless excuses Landis has furnished for his failed drug test, such as his body naturally producing a lot of testosterone, a cortisone shot he received for his ailing hip, heavy drinking the night before the test, dehydration, and that the Holocaust was a lie. That last one isn’t true and wasn’t something Landis said; we just threw it in there to see if you were still paying attention or if you’re like other intelligent people and are so bored to death with Landis and his embarrassing song-and-dance of lying and cheating that you stopped listening a long time ago.
If you’re an NFL team looking for a running back who is also a frighteningly psychotic grade A nutbar and you don’t mind waiting what will probably at least 25 years to get him, Maurice Clarett is the player of your dreams. The former Ohio State star was scheduled to be arraigned today on felony charges stemming from his arrest early Wednesday morning after police chased Clarett and only managed stop him by spiking the tires of his SUV, pulled him out of the car, saw that he had three semiautomatic handguns and an AK-47 on the front seat, and struggled to subdue him as Clarett resisted arrest and needed to be pepper sprayed to be brought under control after stun guns proved ineffective because of the bullet-proof vest Clarett was wearing. This reporter does not wish to editorialize on this story, but holy crap. Clarett was out on bond as it was, on an earlier robbery charge and was stopped by police after he was found driving erratically in the neighborhood of a witness who is set to testify next week against Clarett on his alleged robbery. Authorities kept the identity of the witness secret, but if the arsenal Clarett was toting around is any indication, the witness is either a battle droid or the Terminator. Clarett will be charged with carrying a concealed weapon since there is no term in criminal jurisprudence for “being a crazy bedbug armed to the teeth”. Clarett will be held in prison while he awaits trail for reasons that are staggeringly obvious. The NCAA suspended Claret in 2003 after he was charged with falsely reporting to police that items were stolen out of a borrowed car. He was drafted in the third round by the Broncos in 2004 but was cut in training camp by Denver. When reached for comments, the Broncos’ lucky stars say they appreciate all the thanks the organization has give them every since.
Knicks GM, head coach, and freaking moron Isaiah Thomas filed a 12-page document with Mahttan Federal Court yesterday, caregorically denying sexual harassment charges brought against him by former Knicks senior vice-president for marketing, Anucha Browne Sanders. Sanders accused Thomas of groping her, asking her to have sex with him, and signing a bunch of marginal players to the Knicks to huge contracts that have the team going nowhere while the team payroll soars to dizzying new heights over the salary cap. That last part had nothing to do with Browne Sanders sexual harassments charges against Thomas, but she said she just wanted to put in there anyway just because Thomas ought to be legally prosecuted for that too. Thomas says that any claims of wrongdoing on his part are completely false and according to the papers he filed, Browne Sanders lawsuit against him is motivated by spite because of Browne Sanders “inability to accept the changes that occurred under Thomas' leadership fueled her antipathy towards Thomas” Incidentally, that description also neatly sums up how most Knicks’ fans feel about Thomas, who will shortly become the biggest anti-sexual harassment advocates you will ever find as well as advocates of whatever else might get Thomas pried out of the Madison Square Garden and out of their lives forever and ever.
And finally tonight, hey, here’s a novel idea, a sports story that actually has to do with sports. In other generations, it was lining up on the Tobin Bridge. Then it became lining up on the Zachem Bridge. Now when the annual panic sets in, members of Red Sox Nation have taken to driving through the Ted Williams Tunnel before the glue is dry. That’s where the Fellowship of the Miserable was headed this week as the Red Sox dropped their fourth consecutive game last night. The first two losses were to the Tampa Bay Devil Rays who are in last place in the AL East. The last two defeats have come at the hands of the hapless Kansas City Royals, a team that has been so bad for so long that many people think the word “hapless” is actually a formal part of their team name. The last loss to the Royals was perhaps the most painful as the Red Sox blew a four-run lead as Mike Sweeney’s RBI single in the bottom of the 9th (aided by of all things, Manny Ramirez screwing up in the outfield) led to a 5-4 Kansas City win and a blown save for closer Jonathan Papelbon which has led to the kind reasoning that Red Sox fans are famous for, such as calling for the whole bullpen to be released, figuring Boston GM Theo Epstein must be blind because he can’t read the list of players who will make everything better instantly that he could pick up on the waiver wire, and in the tradition of John “Way Back” Wasdin, Rod “Upper Deck” Beck, and Jose Awfulman, Papelbon being given an unflattering nickname (so far Apple Bomb has been the most clever, which should tell you all you need to know). The loss also dropped the Red Sox 3 games behind the Yankees in the AL East, so tonight’s game with Curt Schilling taking the mound against Runelvys Hernandez is critical to the team that is the first line of attack in getting Yankees fans to shut their obnoxious bandwagon traps for five seconds at a time. The good news is the Red Sox are 15 ½ games ahead of the fourth place Orioles, which means they are secure to the tune of 15 ½ games from making a certain bald, right-wing cake-selling radio co-host from getting a lucky guess right.
In entertainment news, Fox television scrapped plans for a new reality show after a riot broke out among contestants during taping of the final episode. Participants in "Who Wants to Marry an Ex-Beatle" became enraged when they discovered that they were competing to marry Pete Best, not Paul McCartney, as they expected.
Actress Lindsay Lohan completed the destruction of faith in America's celebrities, telling Elle magazine, "I say things that aren't true a lot." Sales of celebrity-endorsed products collapsed in the wake of the announcement, forcing panicked advertisers to turn to major league baseball players as the new voice of honesty and integrity in American consumer marketing.
Mike Holmgren is an excellent head coach. He joined the Packers in 1992 and went 9-7 in his first season, just missing the playoffs with a team that was 4-12 the previous season. He then won at least one playoff game in five consecutive seasons (1993-1997), something only John Madden has also accomplished. He took the Packers to the Super Bowl the final two years of that stretch, winning one of them. Now that he has taken the Seahawks to the Super Bowl, the general sentiment is that he did something similar in Seattle which is simply not the case.
Mike Holmgren has been with the Seahawks for 7 years, but he did not execute a well-thought out plan to get his players in place and make a run for the Super Bowl. Holmgren took over a better team in Seattle than he did in Green Bay. The Packers were 10-22 the two years before Holmgren, Seattle was 16-16. The official record of the Seahawks was 8-8 in 1998, but the team would have been at least 9-7 if not for a Vinny Testaverde "touchdown" on a run where he did not even make it to the one-yard line (this play was later used to advocate reinstatement of instant reply in the NFL). The team would have been 9-6, and fighting for a playoff spot in the final week of the season against a Denver team that had already wrapped up home-field-advantage. However, at 8-7, they were already statistically eliminated, so the game was meaningless for both teams and Seattle was extremely deflated knowing that the Testaverde call cost them a chance at the team's first playoff appearance since 1988. If not for the bad call it is likely the Seahawks would have defeated the Broncos (who had nothing to play for), finished 10-6 and gone to the playoffs. Dennis Erickson would not have been fired, and consequently Holmgren would not been hired.
Mike Holmgren proceeded to take the Seahawks to playoffs in his first season, going 9-7. However, you could argue that he did worse than the possible 10-6 record the previous season. The 1999 team was also mostly made up of Erickson's guys and they started the season 8-2. Holmgren backed the team into the playoffs going 1-5 down the stretch. He then led the team to a 6-10 record in 2000, the worst season since Tom Flores was head coach. Holmgren did not make it to the playoffs in either of the next two seasons either. He had amassed a 31-33 record in his first four years, identical to Erickson's (not correcting for the Testaverde call). If it was not for what he had done in San Francisco and Green Bay, Holmgren probably would have been fired as well. Erickson actually did better than Holmgren considering the team was 16-32 in the three seasons before he got there, Ken Behring was trying to move the team, and the Kingdome was falling apart. It was Erickson that revived football in Seattle.
Holmgren can blame some of his struggles on his GM, himself. He was relieved of his Executive Vice President/General Manager duties following the 2002 season. He certainly can coach, but he had several failures as General Manager. It was Dennis Erickson that drafted the Seahawks best player, Walter Jones. It was Mike Holmgren that could not come to terms with him in 2002 leading him to miss the first two games of the season (both losses) and the team finished 7-9. Erickson also drafted Joey Galloway who had 4,122 receiving yards and 41 touchdowns in his four seasons under Erickson. It was under Holmgren that he held out for 101 days in 1999 and then left the team. It was Erickson that drafted Anthony Simmons and brought in Chad Brown for their productive seasons in Seattle, but under Holmgren that they were re-signed to contracts that led them to be released in cap moves.
With six first-round choices in his first four seasons, Holmgren drafted Lamar King, Chris McIntosh, and Koren Robinson. He also drafted Shaun Alexander, Steve Hutchinson, and Jerramy Stevens. Three picks were busts and Stevens was not a regular starter until his fourth season. For comparison, Erickson had five first-rounder picks in his four years with the team: Joey Galloway, Pete Kendall, Shawn Springs, Walter Jones, and Anthony Simmons. Jones and Springs both went to the pro bowl with the Seahawks, Galloway was an alternate twice. Kendall has been a regular starter all 10 of his seasons (5 with Seattle) in the NFL and is still starting (for the Jets). Simmons started for the Seahawks for several seasons and had 361 tackles in his first three seasons as a starter (his 2nd-4th seasons in the league).
Many people now equate Holmgren's trade for Matt Hasselbeck to the move to pick up Brett Favre. Holmgren should definitely be credited with developing Brett Favre, but it was GM Ron Wolf that brought him to Green Bay. Wolf wanted to draft him the previous season with the Jets (where he was GM in 1991), but Favre was taken by the Falcons one pick earlier. The next year, Wolf (as new GM in Green Bay) made a deal with Atlanta for Favre, but he failed a physical due to a degenerative hip condition. Wolf overruled the doctors and went through with the trade anyway. Part of the reason Holmgren left Green Bay was to show he could be successful without Wolf, which backfired when he struggled as the GM of the Seahawks.
Favre was successful in Green Bay in his first season with 18 touchdowns, and 13 interceptions. He went 8-5 as the starter after Don Majkowski was injured in the third game (Favre won that game as well, but did not start). So it was an injury that actually led Holmgren to put in Favre. I am not discrediting what Holmgren and Favre did together, but Holmgren did not make the decision bring Favre to Green Bay or make him the starter (until after an injury).
It was Holmgren who decided to bring Matt Hasselbeck to Seattle and make him the starter. Hasselbeck is certainly an excellent quarterback now, but Holmgren probably rushed to make him the starter in 2001 when he went 5-7 as a starter with 7 touchdowns and 8 interceptions forcing Holmgren to turn to Trent Dilfer. Hasselbeck was only reappointed as starter in 2002 after Dilfer was injured and the Seahawks went 7-9 that year. Holmgren was trying to force Hasselbeck to be an immediate success like Brett Favre. Things eventually worked out, but it took some time and that was not Holmgren’s plan. Holmgren had two losing seasons and zero playoff victories in his first six years with the team.
Mike Holmgren was also responsible for the cap problems caused by Chad Brown, Anthony Simmons, Bobby Taylor, and Koren Robinson (who was a disaster in general). Tim Ruskell entered; Brown, Simmons, Taylor, and Robinson all exited. The team then signed Bryce Fisher, Kelly Herndon, Andre Dyson, Chuck Darby and Joe Jurevicius. Ruskell added Lofa Tatupu and Leroy Hill in the draft, as well as Chris Spencer and Ray Willis. All of a sudden the defense was good and the team was in better shape with the salary cap with depth along the offensive line for the future. It was also Ruskell that released Chris Terry, re-signed Robbie Tobeck and kept Chris Gray from signing with San Francisco. The 13-3 record, two playoff victories, and Super Bowl appearance might have more to do with Ruskell.
Holmgren was never able to put together a team in Seattle that won a playoff game. The team that made the playoffs in 1999 was mostly made of players Erickson and Whitsitt put together. Holmgren did not make it back to playoffs again until 2003 when Bob Ferguson took over his duties as GM. Marcus Trufant, Ken Hamlin, Seneca Wallace, Marcus Tubbs, Michael Boulware, and Sean Locklear were all drafted under Ferguson. Holmgren is a great coach to be sure, but he has only been successful with someone more capable as General Manager (Wolf, Ferguson, Ruskell).
We can be happy with where the team is now and the coaching job Mike Holmgren is doing without giving him false credit for the past or pretending our recent success was the result of Holmgren being patient while putting all of the pieces in place in his first six years.
It was Erickson that took a last place Seahawks team and restored them to respectability during the most tumultuous period in team history. We will never know, but if not for the Testaverde call, Erickson could have been 10-6 and made the playoffs in 1998. Where would the team be now if he was given 7 more seasons to build the team? We might not have made it to the Super Bowl, but we might have won a playoff game before 2006.
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