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John elway bio the arms race in the afc east takes on a new look

 
 

Sorry I'm late on this one; I don't usually read any part of the Globe except for the Red Sox part of the site. Thanks to the commenter who alerted me to look deeper.

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL???!!!!

OK, I couldn't resist. For the first time in awhile, Dan drones on about the Patriots. Get ready for the shocking revelation: The Patriots failed to win the Super Bowl this year! Oh my God!
The last time we saw the New England Patriots on television was eight months ago when they were thrashed by the Denver Broncos, 27-13, in their second playoff game of the 2005 season. The loss snapped an NFL record 10-game winning streak in the playoffs and humbled Bill Belichick, Tom Brady, and the rest of Patriot Nation.

It was somewhat shocking. Undefeated playoff performer Tom Brady threw two interceptions. Troy Brown fumbled. The Patriots turned the ball over five times and Adam Vinatieri missed a 43-yard field goal attempt.

Eight months later, Vinatieri is gone, Willie McGinest is gone, Super Bowl XXXIX MVP Deion Branch is holding out, and Tedy Bruschi is recovering from wrist surgery as the Patriots return to the field tonight (8, Channel 4) at the Georgia Dome in Atlanta in their 2006 exhibition opener.

This whole section definitely needs to be reprinted. A ton of times, in fact. It's incredibly insightful, and it can't be repeated enough.

Actually, it can. Are we writing a column or pasting in some AP recaps and using the AutoSummarize function to give us 3 worthless paragraphs? Anybody who would bother to read this part of the paper knows this stuff already.
The timing is perfect. When the Patriots folded in January, we noted ``pitchers and catchers report Feb. 18," and now the Patriots are kicking off at the same time the Red Sox are free falling in the American League East. There must be a sports god.The timing was perfect because the Pats' season ended and over a month later, spring training kind of started for the Red Sox? Yeah, that 5-week dead period is just great timing. Also, during that period, about 75% percent of Boston didn't really give a shit about the Patriots, because they were too busy fretting about the clusterf*ck in the Red Sox front office.

And I don't see how any of his statements offer any evidence that there is a "sports god."
Come to think of it, Tom was drafted as a catcher by the Expos when he was in high school -- think he could spell Javy Lopez when the Yankees come to town?I know this is a joke. And it's retarded, so I'm going to pick on it. Tom Brady just turned 29 and hasn't played catcher since he was 17. This is such a dumb idea that it doesn't even merit joking about. If we're going to make stupid attempts at humor like this, why don't we suggest that Jed Hoyer be placed on the 25-man roster? He's in 3 spots on this records page, after all.

Oops, I did 20 seconds of research based on a little bit of background knowledge. That isn't allowed. My apologies.

``This is a chance for us to see where we're at," said Brady. ``It's one thing to do everything in practice, but we always want to start up against other opponents."

``This will be the first time putting on the pads since Denver," added All-Pro defensive lineman Richard Seymour. ``It's definitely a little different. It's a new season now, everyone's 0-0. That's the good part. We have another opportunity to do some great things this season. Hopefully, we can get it down this time."

These are really informative. To recap: they're going to play against other players while wearing uniforms, which is not the same as practice, but the games don't count, although they hope it'll be good mojo for later. Got it? It's pretty complicated. Read it a few times, it'll come to you.
For those who think we exaggerate the Patriots' paranoia/self-importance, check out the Patriots' doorstop, 500-page ``media guide"; try to find out what happened to Rodney Harrison last year. Harrison's six-page bio contains no information regarding the three knee ligaments he tore in Pittsburgh last September. It read, ``placed on injured reserve (9/25/05) and Pittsburgh (9/25) Started at safety . . . collected one tackle before leaving the game in the first quarter." This would be like reading a summary of Tony Conigliaro's 1967 season and finding, ``Hit 20 homers through Aug. 18, then spent the rest of the season on the disabled list after facing Jack Hamilton in a victory over the Angels."The Red Sox media guide is 660 pages. Just FYI (I own one; Charles Steinberg has hands-down the shittiest picture in there. It makes him look like an orange man with 3 chins).

Also, since when is Rodney Harrison's injury at all comparable to Tony Conigliaro's? We have yet to see if Harrison will come back as a mere shell of his former self. Only when that happens can this comparison be made.
The Dome supplies climate control that hasn't been available in Foxborough.Ooh. Zing. Robert Kraft was PWN3D!!!!!!!

Go ahead and return to old Foxboro Stadium, Dan. You'll be crying for the non-climate-controlled Gillette Stadium (it's still that, right? I get confused by all these mergers) in no time.
Meanwhile, Kevin Faulk is still chugging along and should get some carries.What an utterly moronic, meaningless piece of analysis. Essentially, "Kevin Faulk is still on the roster." OK, thanks for that.
Brady backup Matt Cassel no doubt will be making many of the throws.
Why? Patriots backup quarterbacks have, over the last few years, gotten almost NO playing time Is Brady going to get hurt? Is every game going to be a blowout? I don't think Matt Cassel will get many of the throws at all. I think he'll get almost none.
Harrison, returning from surgery on his left knee (don't check the media guide if you want to know how that happened), is unlikely to play.Call me crazy, but I'm going to guess that the Patriots are assuming here that their fans are able to read something other than the media guide to get their news. This really isn't that onerous, Dan. It's called Google, or maybe watching the game where it happened and having some kind of memory.
And a time for New England sports fans to look away from the reeling Red Sox for a night.Does anybody really think that a significant number of fans are going to turn off an August Red Sox game for a meaningless, stupid Patriots preseason game? Come on, now.

By Mike BrodyWagerWeb Contributing WriterThe quarterback position has always been the most important position for any NFL team. Having a confident field general is essential for any team that wants to go deep into the playoffs. Nowhere is that more evident than in the AFC East.Tom Brady and the New England Patriots have dominated the division since Brady took over for Drew Bledsoe three games into the 2001 season. Now the Miami Dolphins, the New York Jets and the Buffalo Bills are all trying to find that diamond in the rough like the Patriots did when they selected Brady in the sixth round of the 2000 draft.Daunte the DolphinMiami is coming off a 9-7 season and has some quality skill position players. The Dolphins' biggest problem the last few seasons has been at quarterback. Miami has had immortals such as A.J. Feely, Jay Fielder, Gus Frerotte and Sage Rosenfels taking snaps in the last three seasons.Now the Dolphins think they've solved their problem. The Dolphins traded for former Minnesota QB Daunte Culpepper and former Detroit signal caller Joey Harrington this off-season to sure up their weakness. The problem is, both QBs are huge question marks. Chances are, Miami will be searching for answers at the QB position again this season.Culpepper will be the starter if he's healthy. The 6'4'', 260 lb veteran was in the midst of his worst season as a pro when he suffered a catastrophic knee injury during the seventh game of the 2005 season. He had thrown just 6 touchdowns and 12 interceptions at the time of his injury. The season before, however, Culpepper was an All-Pro as he tossed 39 TDs and just 11 INTs while posting an impressive 110.9 quarterback rating. He would have been league MVP had it not been for Peyton Manning's record-breaking season.Back-up PlanCulpepper is optimistic that he'll be done with rehab and ready for the start of the season, but that's wishful thinking. Miami will probably open the season with Harrington at the helm and that could leave the Fins in a big hole right off the bat.The former University of Oregon star has never fulfilled the promise of being the No. 3 overall pick in the 2002 NFL draft. Despite having talented wide receivers and running backs around him, Harrington floundered in his 4 years with the Lions, throwing two more interceptions than touchdowns while leading the Lions to just 18 victories in 51 starts.The Dolphins have another intriguing option in their camp: Marcus Vick, the troubled younger brother of Atlanta QM Michael Vick. The odds are better that Vick will be in police custody rather than a Dolphins uniform come September, but if Nick Saban and the coaching staff can find a way to keep Vick on the field, he could offer Miami some insurance in case Culpepper and Harrington falter. Vick will most likely be made into a wide receiver anyway, but he could end up being used in several roles similar to the original slash, Kordell Stewart.Still SearchingThe Jets and Bills continue to look for answers at the QB spot as well. New York's QB job is up for grabs as incumbent Chad Pennington missed most of last year after undergoing rotator cuff surgery. Pennington has a history of injuries and may never be the same after his latest setback. The Jets also acquired veteran Patrick Ramsey in a trade with the Washington Redskins in March. Ramsey has been a disappointment in Washington where he lost his job to Mark Brunell last season.New York's best hope may be rookie Kellen Clemens. Clemens was having a stellar senior season at Oregon before suffering a season-ending ankle injury. He has good size, speed and quickness, and could be the quarterback of the future that the Jets have been looking for.Buffalo, on the other hand, has done nothing to upgrade its weakness at quarterback. The Bills had a terrible draft and will go into the season with Kelly Holcomb and J.P. Losman vying for the starting job again. Neither are a very attractive option and the Bills look to be going nowhere again.The StandardIn order for Miami, New York or Buffalo to make the playoffs, they will have to go through New England. The Patriots look to be even better than last season, having drafted running back Laurence Maroney and wide receiver Chad Jackson to add to Brady's arsenal of weapons.The Patriots are still the kings of the AFC East and are one of the favorites to win the Super Bowl again. Should the Patriots regain the championship, it would be their fourth Super Bowl in six years and will cement their place as one of the greatest dynasties in the history of the league.
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