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listed 100 truths about the upcoming NFL season. Gene is retarded. I will address some of his claims.
98. The 1972 Miami Dolphins can put another bottle of champagne on ice. No team will go undefeated.
Wow, that's a tough prediction to make. No team's done it in the last 24 years. He really went out on a limb here.
90. Runner-up [for NFC comeback player of the year, to Terrell Owens]: Green Bay Packers running back Ahman Green.
Ahman Green sucks now. Plus, with Brett Favre throwing picks constantly, teams will load up against the run, and let Favre gamble until he busts.
86. The formerly disgruntled Javon Walker will have a better season with the Denver Broncos than the formerly disgruntled Ashley Lelie will have with the Atlanta Falcons.
Shocking. Javon Walker is better than Ashley Lelie, and he doesn't have Michael "erratic passer who only throws to Algae Crumpler anyway" Vick throwing to him.
In 2002, Lelie was the slightly better receiver, although he played in one more game than Walker. In '03 Walker had more receptions, more yards, and way more touchdowns in one fewer game. In '04 the numbers aren't really that close, despite Lelie putting up a career year: Lelie (54 catches, 1084 yards, 7TDs) vs. Walker (89 catches, 1382 yards, 12 TDs). In '05 Walker was hurt.
83. No way does Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre finish with his 2005 numbers (nine more interceptions than touchdowns).
Well, Favre finishing with exactly 9 more ints than TDs is, agreed, unlikely. I think Wojcieal;jdfal;ksjdf;aldsjf's implying, though, that Favre will perform better this season. All you had to watch was the first 5 minutes of the first preseason game to know that's bullshit. He'll be worse, and the only question is whether the Pack will endure another full season with him as QB.
78. No sixth-seeded playoff team will win two, much less four postseason games in a row on the road (a la the 2005 Steelers).
Another bold predicition.
76. Peyton "Cut That Meat" Manning will lead the NFL in Most Touchdown Passes and Best Acting in Commercials.
Can't he just say in "Touchdown Passes?" And, duh.
75. The Colts will miss Edgerrin James more than anybody -- including team president Bill Polian -- realizes.
Two things here: (1) Everybody keeps saying that the Colts will miss Edgerrin more than anyone realizes. This is akin to the "if everyone thinks someone is underrated, he's not underrated anymore, and probably overrated" sports axiom. (2) HE PICKS THE FUCKING COLTS TO WIN THE SUPER BOWL!?! How badly will they possibly miss him?
73. The Steelers will win the AFC North.
No they won't. The Bengals will. (Another one of Gene's predicitions involved Carson Palmer not missing a single game this season.)
62. According to Sports Illustrated's Peter King, Deuce McAllister spoke to former Steelers great Jerome Bettis about dealing with a reduced role in the Saints' offense. If McAllister really listened to the wise Bettis, the Deuce/Reggie tag team will work fine.
Jerome Bettis is not wise. The success of the Deuce/Reggie tag team has little or nothing to do with Deuce.
60. New Atlanta Falcons quarterbacks coach Bill Musgrave, one of the best in the business, will finally solve the mystery that is Michael Vick.
No he won't, because Vick has crappy fundamentals and enough speed to compensate for them, just enough of the time to make the playoffs every other year. He also suffers from Vince Young (5 on the Wonderlic) syndrome, and I'm not saying that because he's a black running quarterback. I don't think.
58. Peyton's Colts will beat Eli's Giants in the Manning Bowl.
He picked the Colts to win the Super Bowl, and the AFC South, and potentially go undefeated into December!
56. Tennessee Titans rookie running back LenDale White will finish with more touchdowns than former USC teammate Bush.
White had way more touchdowns when the two were at USC together. He's a big, bruising, always count on him to get short yardage at the goal line back, who's great because he has surprising mobility for that body type. A ballsier prediction would be that White will end up with more rushing yards than Bush.
49. No one outside the Bay Area -- and not in a fantasy league -- can name four 49ers. (I'll even spot you Alex Smith and Frank Gore.)
But everyone has the internet.
25. Few people will be able to name the only quarterback who has thrown for more than 4,000 yards in each of the last three seasons. (Yeah, I had to look it up too: the Chiefs' Trent Green).
Yeah but Peyton Manning threw for 4000 yards the 6 seasons before '05, and could easily have in '05 if everyone didn't start riding his balls for scoring less and managing games so well. Until he managed to fuck up the playoffs so badly. Plus, only two guys did it last year, so it's kind of a small pool to look at for '04 and '03.
2: The Colts will beat the Panthers in Super Bowl XLI (41, for the Roman numeral impaired).
No they won't.
Take the Dolphins and the points tonight. (+1.5 last I checked)
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