Jake Plummer Autograph Card

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Here's some info on the Bruins picks in the 2nd round and on. I'll admit - I was so high on the B's getting either Toews or Kessel that I didn't do much research on the later rounds for any sleeper picks. So I'll rely on the expert scouting by the folks at Hockey's Future and other sources in the hockey community, and break it down for you.

YURI ALEXANDROV - D, Russian Super League, 6'1" 175lbs. Playing in the Super League at 17, Alexandrov made a name for himself as a solid 2-way player and surprised a lot of people by staying in the SL all year. This kid has very few holes in his game, and is a prototypical "modern" 2 way defenseman. He could stand to put on some more weight as he loves to hit, and does not shy away from the physical part of the game. Excellent at making the first pass out of the zone, also has a good strong shot from the point. One of the top Russian prospects this year. Excellent hockey sense and a team leader.

MILAN LUCIC - LW, Vancouver Giants (WHL), 6'2" 205lbs. I was a little surprised at Lucic going in the 3rd round, as he's definitely not a power forward in the sense of "barrel down the wing and score 30 goals per season". Rather, he's in the mould of "barrel down the wing and demolish anyone and everyone that gets in your way". He's not flashy, not a finisher, but he's built like he's made out of granite and is one of the best hitters in the WHL. Ranked as one of the better North American fighters, if that's your gig, Milan will drop them when he needs to but is known for making solid, clean hits and opening up space for his linemates.

BRAD MARCHAND - C, Val D'Or Floreurs (QMJHL) 5'8" 185lbs. Think Nevin Markwart with more of an offensive upside. Brad is a pest to the Nth degree, and made heads turn with a fantastic showing at the Memorial Cup. He can make pretty plays and can hold his own, although his biggest knock is that he probably tries to make the pretty play too often, instead of the safe play. However, he's a sparkplug and never gives anything less than his all on every shift, every play. If he can make the squad after a few more years of juniors, with a bulkier frame he could be that agitator the B's have been missing for many, many years. The Bruins actuallly traded up with the Islanders in order to snag this kid.

ANDREW BODNARCHUK - D, halifax Mooseheads (QMJHL) 5'10" 190lbs. I'll use another former Bruin to help draw the picture - Don Sweeney. Bodnarchuk's an excellent prospect who makes up for a lack of size with phenominal foot speed and a VERY solid work ethic. He was originallly drafted by Moncton but didn't want to report for fear of losing his NCAA eligibility. He was traded to Halifax, who put together an educational package for him and he had a very strong rookie season in response. Smart kid who probably still has some more growing to do, he actually grew up with Brad Marchand and played on a lot of teams with him. Solid pick, another one who's got a good 2-3 years before the possibility of Providence (or Boston) but he's a great complimentary pick to Alexandrov.

LEVI NELSON - C, Swift Current Broncos (WHL) 5'11" 170lbs. Solid player who made the Canadian National under-18 squad after a great rookie season, Levi finished 4th on his team in scoring and still has a few years to go before he could be considered ready for the NHL. Nice to see the Bruins picking some solid forwards this year.

I've never been one to mince my words; with that said, I fucking hate the Denver Broncos. It's not necessarily the players that bother me, instead it is their fans that I detest with reckless abandon. To make matters worse they are coached by a loathsome miscreant whose smarmy confidence can no longer mask his playoff record since the Horse hung up the reigns. Despite all this it is their offensive line that I hate more than anyone else (outside the NFC East). Simply put they are the dirtiest sons of bitches I've seen on a football field since those guys busted up my man Lucas.

Truthfully I never had a chance; my first memory as a football fan dates back to a chilly January evening in 1988. On this day I watched as my Redskins went down an early ten points, then I watched Doug Williams and Joe Gibbs orchestrate the greatest quarter in the history of the game. Ever since that day I have looked down on the Broncos with such contempt that I've never cheered for them. In fact, I've never drafted a Denver player in any one of my fantasy leagues.

Everybody knows that the Broncos have enough talent on the roster to compete for the AFC title. Last year's run of thirteen wins (plus a playoff win) proved that point to anyone who still doubted them. This year their goals are clear, they have to reach the Super Bowl. It's not often you can say that about a team but in this case anything less would just be another disappointment.

Unfortunately for the Broncos, their hopes are still firmly attached to the arm (and brain) of Jake the Snake Plummer, frankly I'd rather see Jake Roberts taking the snaps. On the positive side the front office had the foresight to draft Jay Cutler who could be ready to supplant Plummer at a moment's notice. While they had the opportunity to draft a player who come in and start they recognized the need for a second option at quarterback. Cutler impressed everybody with his Combine and individual workouts, if the Broncos hope to bring a championship back to that shithole town young Mr. Cutler needs to learn that playbook. (Sources tell KSK that Mike Shanahan actually stole his current playbook from Madden 2003).

Those unfortunate bastards who have to corral Jake's wily passes are also a cause for concern at this point in the year. Ashley Lelie is apparently pissed off at the coaching staff for his roll on the team. Apparently he fully expected to supplant the the Unbreakable Rod Smith despite finding the endzone as rarely as Mr. Glass. As always Shanahan will rely on his running attack to carry the brunt of the offensive burden. A lot of people have attempted to dissect the famed scheme, one time Merrill Hodge got close before his neurons shutdown from fatigue, the same thing happened to me the last time I read the Four Quartets (seriously, what's up with that rose garden?).

As a service to our readers I'll break down the Broncos running game in three simple steps.

1. Tatum Bell (or some other scrub they plug in) starts his run off the right guard.

2. Matt Lepsis and Tom Nalen lay out a couple of defenders with a pair of violent chopblocks.

3. Tatum Bell cuts back to the left side and and skips over the broken leg of his would be pursuer.

(this can also be reversed with George Foster dislocating some poor guy's ankle, just press the R2 button on the play selection screen)

The team's true saving grace is their stout defensive unit that held the Steelers to a mere 34 points in the AFC Championship game (well at least they were stout the rest of the year). To be fair the defense did have a great season thanks to a flurry of acquisitions over the past few years. In fact last year Denver imported the sorry ass defensive line from the sorry ass Cleveland Browns...and they didn't suck!


Behind the freshly minted defensive front lies some of the fastest linebackers in the League. DJ Williams is an absolute freak that I'd love to see on my team (i've got a thing for those 7th Floor dwellers) and Ian Gold is routinely underrated. The crux of the defense's success will lie in the consistency of their secondary. Anybody who knows me knows how I feel about Champ Bailey, for those who don't, I think he was the most overrated player in the entire league when he was going to Hawaii in a Redskins helmet...nothing has changed. Domonique (yeah he spells it like that) Foxworth is serviceable on the other side, but the guy I'm interested in is his backup. I think it's about time the coaches started playing Karl "Bitch Betta" Paymah (I'd like to see Berman pull that off).

Without a doubt the player who offers the highest comedic appeal is our pal Sean Landeta. We here at KSK will continue to pray for Sean's fat ass and lovehandles.

Now I'm off to the NAACP Convention wearing my Kanye t-shirt that reads "George Bush doesn't care about black people."


Keep in mind today marks the opening of rookie camp for the Jets and Eagles...just in case you were wondering why you keep hearing boos in the distance.